Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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