I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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