so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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