Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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