ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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