a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
