so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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