Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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