I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
