4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
time to smoke my breakfast
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
