Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
