I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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