the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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