Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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