I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
