Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
