I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
