I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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