theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
