Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
