From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
whose parrot is this?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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