why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
