I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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