So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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