Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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