It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
