we're blogging at a bar
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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