this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
