I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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