U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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