she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
