Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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