I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
