Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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