I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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