theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
