you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
