this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
And then my night got REAL pukey
Oh god it's open bar.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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