rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
