And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
