Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
