To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
