Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Life is so much better after having sex.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
