The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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