worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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