Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
