Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
