yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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