i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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