We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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