That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
