Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
