you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I could fuck to npr.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
